Automatic Pronouns

Yesterday was the fifth anniversary of my ordination to Word and Sacrament ministry. In other words, I've been a pastor for five years now. In those five years, some things I hoped would change have changed, and some haven't.

It was about 10 years ago that I told my parents I was serious about going to seminary to pursue ordained ministry. Of course they wanted the best for me, and for me to be the best I can be. So, in typical fashion, my dad had some "words of wisdom" for me, always delivered at times I was least able or willing to hear them. The usual line was, "Lindean, if you're going to be a pastor, you're going to have to ______" and then he would fill in the blank with whatever he saw as suitable correction to my current situation. It most often sounded something like this: "Lindean, if you're gonna be a pastor, you're gonna hafta be nicer to your sister." "Lindean, if you're gonna be a pastor, you're gonna hafta get organized and stay organized." "... you're gonna hafta... " "...you're gonna hafta..."

To be honest, I finally got sick of it, and replied with equal venom, "Dad, I AM gonna be a pastor, and you're gonna hafta get used to it."

And the amazing thing is, he has. I'm the first pastor in my family, and they're used to it now. After all, I'm not THEIR pastor: I'm their daughter, or sister, or sister-in-law, or niece, or whatever. And they've learned that capable pastors can indeed be "she."

Unfortunately, I continue to wait for that last bit of learning to be true of the rest of the church - even (especially) the ELCA.

This last week I was visiting another congregation about 30 miles from here. I'd never been there before, but was a bit early for my meeting, so I greeted the receptionist and had a seat. An older gentleman, a member of that congregation, was having a conversation with the receptionist about clergy and congregation size. He expressed admiration for a congregation of 420 members who have two full time pastors, and asked me about my congregation. I said I'm from SOV, and that for about 1500 members we have two full-time pastors and a diaconal minister. He replied, "Oh, two pastors and a woman." And he turned back around to address the receptionist.

I corrected him, and said, "Actually, I'm one of the pastors." He looked a little surprised, but didn't apologize for his error.

I understand that women have "only" been ordained in the ELCA for 37 years now, but I still get frustrated every time the generic reference to pastor is "he." Pronouns seem to be automatic for so many vocations, and that implicit communication gets under my skin every time. Doctor? He. Scientist? He. Nurse? She. Aargh!

I wonder what it will take for all of us to let go of our assumptions about who God calls to do what.

I pray the Holy Spirit will help us use our language to communicate well and faithfully. And that she won't delay in doing so.

PS - If hearing any member of the Trinity referred to as "she" disturbs you, please note that the word for "spirit" in both Hebrew and Greek is a feminine noun.