Thursday, May 31, 2007

Fierce Landscapes, Part II: Mountain


In the midst of the pain and sense of being lost that we often feel in the desert, we may, like the Psalmist, look up to the hills, from whence our help is to come, from the maker of heaven and earth. (Psalm 121) “Give us your grace, O God!” we cry. “Hold us! Heal us! Make us whole.”

We long for illumination, knowledge, insight. We want to see the world, and our lives, from the perspective of God. Like Moses on Sinai, we long for revelation. “Show us your truth, O God.”

However, this is often a very slow process. The second stage of the mountaintop is the most like ordinary time, which is often monotonous and dull. It is often a time of waiting. It takes a long time to climb a mountain. And it may take a long time to receive revelation. Moses waited 40 days on St. Sinai to receive all God had to teach him. [See Lane, p. 91]

It is important here not to assume the desert is the place of emotions, and the mountaintop the place of knowledge. Revelation or knowledge is not just mental—it can be emotionally exhilarating. And often the pain of the desert that causes us to weep is our lack of knowledge, our just not knowing what to do next.

When our daughter was hospitalized for depression, we were told she needed to be on a different drug than she was on and that besides her individual therapy (which she was already on) we needed to begin family therapy. We were unhappy with the psychological nurse practitioner we were going to. How do we find another counselor and a psychiatrist right away? As I began calling psychiatrists who work with teenagers, the wait to see one was from four to six weeks. Any new drug takes about two weeks to begin working. The mental anguish of not knowing what to do next was excruciating, and only increased the emotional fear and worry.

All I could do was persist, putting Jessi’s name on any waiting list I could find. Thank God (and I mean that literally) our present doctor had a cancellation, and Jessi got in the next day. It took him 15 minutes to assess her various symptoms and determine that Prozac was clearly the best available drug for her. Within days she was much better, and the medicine created the platform from which both her individual therapy and our family therapy could be much more effective, and now Jessi is doing extremely well.

There are other times when revelation comes very quickly. Well, maybe not so quickly—it could just be that we had not been looking for anything different. Sometimes God whispers in our ears: “Have you ever stopped to think that there might be another way, a better way?” God nudges us toward a different understanding, a different behavior, and we have one of those “ah hah” experiences.

What have been some of your spiritual experiences of revelation and illumination? What do you do during those long periods of waiting that often occur as we await insight?
Next we will consider the cloud as a fierce landscape.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm enjoying your journey and insights immensely. Keep 'em coming!

Anonymous said...

One time when I was desperate to know the will of God for our lives, I asked the Lord "What shall I do when I don't know what to do." And the answer came clearly to me. "Do what you know." What I knew about the will of God for sure was from I Thessolonians 5, "Rejoice evermore, Pray without ceasing and in everything give thanks for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." When things are foggy, as they often are, this scripture has been my guide post and it has made all the difference.

Pastor Brian said...

Dear Anonymous, Thanks for sharing your guidepost with us.
No matter what we are going through, I agree that it is helpful to begin from a perspective of thanksgiving, prayer, and rejoicing in the grace of our God. Blessings on your journey.